Please stop using this Tozer quote
This morning on my social media feed, I saw yet another person share a quote attributed to A. W. Tozer. Perhaps you’ve seen it, too: “If being hurt by the church causes you to lose faith in God, then your faith was in people not God.” Typically, this quote is shared by well-meaning people of faith to encourage those who have been hurt by hypocrites in the church to cling to their bruised faith, look past the bad behavior of the few, and remain in the church. And as a person who loves Jesus and his church, I can affirm the truth of the statement. The church is a human institution, and humans are by definition not God. Therefore, rejecting God and the church because some human(s) did not live up to God’s standard is like throwing the baby out with the bath water. Yet, as a person who has been hurt profoundly by people in the church, I pray I will never read this quote again. Let me tell you why.
It’s not authentic Tozer.
As far as I can tell, this quote does not appear anywhere in Tozer’s works. According to multiple online sources, its earliest documented appearances were on church signs and in social media memes without attribution. This alone should be enough for people of integrity to avoid this “quote” like the plague, but there is more. While some suggest this line may be a paraphrase of Tozer’s sentiment, Tozer actually lamented the lackluster faith of Western Christians and insisted that personal holiness was critical for Christ followers. He would decry the sin that drives people to run from the church in pain.
It’s gaslighting.
Even if this quote was uttered by Tozer, using it with those who have been legitimately hurt by the church is gaslighting. Google defines this term as “a form of psychological manipulation and emotional abuse in which one person systematically causes another to question their own memories, perceptions, judgment, or sanity.” It originates from a British play in which a husband convinced his wife she was insane by slowly dimming the gas lights in their home. When she asked about the lower lights, he would deny anything was different. Similarly, this statement sends the message that the pain caused by spiritual abuse, manipulative leadership, and hypocritical behaviors within the church is invalid and the victim is wrong to feel as they do.
It’s victim shaming.
Moreover, it is nothing short of victim shaming. It does not deny that the bad behavior happened. In fact, it acknowledges that it did. Yet, it excuses that behavior because the perpetrator is not God but merely human. Instead, it blames the victim for having the unrealistic expectation that people should not behave this way and protecting him/herself by walking away.
The church is supposed to be Christ’s bride
One of the most vivid biblical metaphors for the relationship between Christ and his people is that of husband and wife. This imagery was introduced in the Old Testament (e.g., Hosea, Song of Songs). Jesus built on it with parables like the ten virgins of Matthew 25. Paul used it in Ephesians 5, and John used it in Revelation 19 and 21. In each case, the people of God, collectively, are represented as the bride. If you have ever had a friend marry someone you could not stand, you may recognize the problem. Husband and wife are a package deal. You can’t hang out with one without hanging out with the other. Consequently, if you don’t want to hang out with the one, you won’t hang out with the other. Thus, it should come as no surprise to us when people don’t want anything to do with Jesus because of the bad behavior of those who claim to be his bride.
God’s people are supposed to reflect Christ’s character.
Throughout Scripture, God expected his people to reflect his character. In Leviticus 11:44, for example, God commanded Israel to “be holy because I am holy,” and in Matthew 5:48, Jesus affirmed, “Be perfect… as your heavenly father is perfect.” This expectation was reinforced when our Lord called his followers disciples and apostles. Disciples were expected to implement their teacher’s teachings and replicate his way of life, and apostles were sent to deliver their master’s message and see to its execution. And it was punctuated when Paul described believers as Christ’s ambassadors and even the body of Christ. Ambassadors speak and act on behalf of the king they represent, and the body is absolutely an extension of Christ himself.
This is why Paul prescribed such harsh penalties for self-proclaimed believers who failed to reflect God’s character. When Peter (aka Cephas) failed to reflect God’s character by not eating with the Gentile believers in Galatians 2, Paul “opposed him to his face because he stood condemned” (Galatians 2:11). Apparently, Peter repented, and the crisis was averted. Yet, when a man in Corinth refused to stop sleeping with his own stepmother, Paul commanded, “hand that one over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh” (1 Corinthians 5:5) and “Remove the evil person from among you” (1 Corinthians 5:13).
So also, Jesus had little patience for people who claimed to follow him but did not reflect his character. In Revelation 2-3, he confronted the Ephesian church for going through the motions of faith without the love; condemned “those who say they are Jews… but are a synagogue of Satan” in Smyrna; threatened to “come to you quickly and fight against” those who held the teaching of Balaam and the Nicolaitans in Pergamum; promised severe punishment for Jezebel of Thyatira; etc.
Furthermore, he promised to snuff out the lamps of churches that tolerated such things. That is, if they did not hold their parishioners accountable, he would remove his presence from them, and even if they were able to continue in some fashion, they would be churches in name only.
When we share this fake Tozer quote, we are pronouncing that we see the problem, but instead of holding the perpetrator accountable, we expect the victim to simply get over it. God will not grace with his presence a church which adopts such a posture.
But of course, this raises the question of what we should do instead? I would suggest three things:
First, let us do better. We in the church are called to holiness. Let us pursue, therefore, holiness.
Second, let us practice real accountability. When we fail to live up to the holiness we pursue, let us respond with humility and repentance. Let us acknowledge the failure, apologize to those who were hurt, and do whatever we can to make it right. If people need to be removed from leadership, let them be removed from leadership. If they refuse to repent, let them be removed from fellowship. Let us make clear that this behavior is unacceptable within the people of God, and those who practice it have no part in us.
Finally, instead of shaming the victims of church hurt for being unable to distinguish between God and those who claim to be his people, let us be filled with compassion for them. Let us see them as sheep without a shepherd, wandering without food or protection but too wary to come near. And let us sit with them and talk gently to them until they are ready to come back in.