Jesus’ Last Words: Woman, here is your son

Author’s Note: This article is adapted from a sermon I preached on February 28, 2016.

At last, it was quiet. Apparently, it was not as much fun throwing stuff at someone who simply hung on a cross without even a word of anger, and there are only so many insults you can hurl. Thus, an hour or so after the guards nailed Jesus to the cross and hoisted it upright, the crowd had largely dispersed. Of course, a couple of Pharisees and Sadducees remained. They knew that, if they left, his disciples would find a way to rescue him and then claim he was “raised from the dead.” In reality, though, the large, unruly crowd that followed him to Golgotha had dwindled to a handful of the most intense antagonists.

It made sense. The Romans had spent decades making a science of crucifixion to send a message to those who dared defy the empire. In fact, they knew just how much pain a victim could endure before passing out, just how much of a beating the human body could take without succumbing, and just how much they could stretch an execution so that everyone would know that they are in charge. Jesus, then, was enduring probably the most excruciating pain any human could possibly experience, but because it was so systematized, it was also probably pretty boring for the crowd.

All, that is, except for four women and one of Jesus’ disciples.

In John 19:25, we read, “Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.” It is interesting that three of these four women were named Mary. More interesting is the fact that two of them are strangers to us. Neither Mary the wife of Clopas nor “his mother’s sister” appear anywhere else in the gospel accounts. In fact, we do not even get the name of Jesus’ aunt. Even more interesting, though, is that we do know the remaining two women quite well. Mary Magdalene was a recurring character in the gospel accounts. Luke 8:2 tells us Jesus drove seven demons out of her, and some scholars identify her as the prostitute who anointed Jesus’ feet with her tears in Luke 7:38. Finally, there was his mom. No nails were driven through her flesh that day, and no spear would be thrust into her side, but make no mistake: she was pierced through the heart that day.

Therefore, as Jesus looked down from the cross that day, in John 19:26-27, he “saw his mother and the disciple he loved standing there, [and] he said to his mother, ‘Woman, here is your son.’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.'”

We must watch out.

Jesus’ statement is striking because, if I was in his place, I can imagine what I might have said, and it would not have been this. I would have complained about the pain, the injustice, and my displeasure at it all because that is what moms do: they make things better! Instead, Jesus sees his grief-stricken mother and says… this!

As ridiculous as it was, there were a couple of things to notice in Jesus’ statement. Notice first that he called her “woman.” You and I likely recoil instinctively at this address, but in the Aramaic language that Jesus spoke, it was considered a polite address for a woman, much as we might call someone “ma’am.” No, that does not explain why he did not call her “Mom” or some other term of endearment, but several commentators suggest Jesus used this address to save her a bit of pain. That is, rather than call her “mom” and so remind her of her utter inability to help her son, Jesus chose to call her “ma’am” instead.

Notice also that he said to her, “Here is your son.” Then he turned his eyes to this “disciple he loved” and said, “Here is your mother.” This was more significant than Jesus’ first choice of words. You see, sometime after Jesus’ twelfth birthday, Mary’s husband Joseph, the guy Jesus’ no doubt grew up calling “Dad,” disappeared from the gospel record. It is generally agreed that he probably died, and in an era when women were generally prohibited to own property or hold jobs, there was really no way for a woman without a husband to support herself. As her eldest son, the responsibility to care for Mary fell to Jesus, but now, he was on a cross. In essence, then, he was telling her that this disciple, one of Jesus’ closest friends, was going to stand in his place, and he was telling his friend, “Take care of my mom.”

Put another way, Jesus’ hands and feet were pierced with nails. He was hanging on a cross. Every breath sent excruciating, searing pain through his entire body. He was going to die. Yet, he still had the presence of mind to watch for his mom, and as Christians, we must do the same.

We must watch out. At its very core, this means to pay more attention to what is going on with the people around us than we do to ourselves and our own concerns. Yet, this is the exact opposite of our normal inclination. We all tend to focus on ourselves, sometimes to the complete exclusion of everyone else. This is why Jesus’ words here were so revolutionary. If we are going to be like Christ, we need to to look beyond ourselves and watch out.

We must watch out for the extras.

At least one person at the cross that day learned the significance of what Jesus was saying. Consider the disciple to whom Jesus entrusted his mom. Throughout this gospel, this same disciple appeared several times, but his name was never given. Always, he was referred to as “the disciple Jesus loved,” but this was not simply because he was a nobody. In fact, at the end of the book, we learn that it was this disciple who wrote this gospel. By comparing this gospel to the other three, we can deduce that “the disciple he loved” was John, the brother of James and the other of four other books of the New Testament. Interestingly, John’s books (i.e., The Gospel of John, 1 John, 2 John, 3 John, and Revelation) were among the last works to be officially included in the canon of Scripture largely because John did not sign any of them, and that raises a significant question: why?

Numerous scholars suggest that John chose to obscure his identity so that he would not divert attention from Jesus, but I would submit that, if it was that simple, he would have included no names at all. Instead, I want to suggest that John omitted his name in order to not draw attention to himself.

Further, consider also the attention John gave to the women in this scene. Granted, Mary, the mother of Jesus, played a significant role in the story. Including her in the account was therefore necessary. However, in light of the male-centric culture of the day, the inclusion of the other three women was remarkable. In fact, women were often overlooked by first-century society. For example, when Matthew recorded his account of the feeding of the 5,000 (Matthew 14:21), he did not even bother to count the women.

Yet, John was careful to record not just their presence. He included also key details that would help us identify them. For example, Mary Magdalene would appear again in John 20, where she became the first person to see the resurrected Jesus and then announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord!” He made certain to mention that the second Mary was the wife of Clopas, and based on Matthew 27:56, we can deduce that she was the mother of James and Joseph, two of Jesus’ disciples. In fact, even “his mother’s sister” is identifiable. Mark 15:40 recorded three women at the cross including two Mary’s and a Salome, and Matthew 27:56 also includes an unnamed mystery woman who is said to be “the mother of Zebedee’s sons.” Connecting the dots, we realize that John’s mystery woman was Salome, the wife of Zebedee and John’s own mom.

This degree of detail would have been understandable if these three were major characters in the story, and I suppose it could be argued that Mary Magdalene did play a significant part. The other two women, however, were mentioned only in passing. It is therefore quite remarkable that John went to such trouble to record such details about women who were little more than extras in the story unless there was a point to be found.

John took Jesus’ cue and deflected attention from himself, giving it instead to these extra women, and we should do the same for the extras in our lives. We must watch out for the extras. For example, when was the last time you took notice of the girl who served your lunch, the man you met at the grocery store, the housekeeper at the hotel, or the security guard at your office? Take notice of the people standing on the sidelines, doing the thankless or dirty work, ignored by the rest of the world. Jesus did it. John did it. We should do it, too.

We must watch out even for screw ups.

One wonders, however, why this lesson was so impactful for John. To answer that question, back up to the night before the crucifixion. After enjoying the Passover meal with his disciples, Jesus led them to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. Three times, he asked his friends to pray together while he retreated further into the garden to pray on his own, and three times, he returned to find them sleeping. Then Judas arrived with a mob in tow, and in Mark 14:50, as Jesus was arrested and hauled away, the other eleven “all deserted him.”

The significance of this statement takes a moment to sink in. In Jesus’ moment of need, one of his disciples had betrayed him and the other eleven, including John, deserted him. Now, though, as things were finally settling down at the foot of the cross, John came slinking up the hill and took a place behind the women.

John, the guy who ran away from Jesus the night before, was now addressed by Jesus, and this was not just any address! Jesus could have given John the silent treatment. He could have glared at him and called him terrible names. He could have called down lightning to smite John, and John would have deserved it. Instead, he looked at John as a person. Yes, he had flaws and weaknesses and failures. He was a screw up, but he was also a person who was created and dearly loved by God.

Put yourself in John’s shoes for a moment. Jesus did not only speak to him. No doubt, John expected Jesus to denounce him, to rebuke him harshly, but instead, Jesus entrusted his mother to John’s care. Could there be a higher, more important symbol of trust?

This, then, was a crucial message from Jesus to John. As badly as John had screwed up, Jesus was still watching out for him. Indeed, Christians must watch out even for screw ups. We take notice of the people who have hurt us, opposed us, and even persecuted us, and we watch out for even them.

Yes, Jesus watched out for people. However, he did not just watch out for the people we might expect. Rather, he watched out for the extras and the screw ups. This point was absolutely clear to John, and as he sat down to write his gospel, he made a point to share that point with us. Let us not miss it!