I Am a Pastor: The Antidote for Cynicism

In my previous post, I explained how easy – and dangerous – it is for pastors to slide into cynicism. In that post, I observed that cynicism is the antithesis of hope, an extreme form of worry. In fact, I wrote, “Whereas doubt suggests that a thing might not happen, cynicism assumes that the thing will not happen.” And as such, it has the capacity to either paralyze us or “[leave] us marching to certain death for a dubious cause.” It is that significant.

Today, I want to provide a little hope to the pastor – or parishioner – struggling with cynicism. You see, there is an antidote. It has five components, each of which raises our hope level all by itself. But all five of them must be present to maximize our resistance to cynicism. So what are they? Here we go.

Give thanks for what God has done.

First, we must give thanks for what God has already done. In Philippians 4, St. Paul addressed a church that had plenty of reasons to be cynical. His advice to them? “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (vss 4-7).

We will address the matter of prayer, but first, notice the phrase “with thanksgiving.” Thanksgiving is an essential companion to prayer because every time we remember what God has already done in our lives, our faith is bolstered. Giving thanks reminds us that, however grim things may seem, we are not hopeless. It reminds us that God is alive and well, living and active, and impossible things happen when he is involved.

When we give thanks, we are directly contradicting our cynical expectation that things will go wrong by explicitly pronouncing instances where things went right.

And when that happens, peace – which is a sure sign of hope – dawns.

For what will you give thanks, right now?

Pray.

Returning to Philippians 4, Paul bid his readers to present their requests to God to combat worry, and the church at Philippi had reason to worry. Shortly after Paul had arrived and established the church there, a riot had broken out, and there is evidence that, even after Paul departed, the church continued to suffer persecution. Paul’s answer: “In everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (vs. 6).

Once again, prayer is an exercise in faith. It is less about us recruiting God to help us than it is about us aligning ourselves with God so that we will be where he is when he acts. Which starts the cycle over again with Thanksgiving.

Why not take a moment right now and pray?

Focus on good stuff.

Staying just a bit longer in Philippians 4, St. Paul added, “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable – if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy – dwell on these things” (vs 8). So often in pastoral ministry, it is easy to get bogged down by the negative stuff. For example, Tim’s family is coming apart at the seams, Sally’s addiction is causing serious damage to her life, Jay is upset because you were would not help him with rent (again). Attendance has been off for two weeks in a row! I have only seen my wife in passing for three weeks, and I still have not made it to visit Steve in the nursing home. And did I mention that Sunday is always coming?

These and a thousand more ministry situations zap our hope. It is therefore imperative that, while we must not ignore these situations, we should focus on the good stuff that is happening. Thanksgiving helps with this, to be certain. But too often, I can run through a litany of things to be thankful for and still run headlong into the pile of dirty laundry at the end. (Literally, we have a pile of dirty laundry in my basement right now.)

Simply put, we need to spend more time and energy focusing on things that are good. What went right this week? Whose life is being changed? Is there someone who is hungry for God’s word?

Even if you have not had any spiritual victories in recent days, what is the missional objective that you are working toward? Consider Nehemiah’s response when Sanballat and company attempted to intimidate him: “I am doing important work and cannot come down. Why should the work cease while I leave it and go down to you?” The context of this response is important! In Nehemiah 4, the reconstruction of the wall had been slowed because half the people were forced to stand guard instead of build. In Nehemiah 5, our hero was compelled to deal with nobles – many of whom “did not life a finger to help their supervisors” (Nehemiah 3:5) – who were swindling their countrymen out of their property and livelihood. And then, in Nehemiah 6, Sanballat and company renew their intimidation tactics. How easy it would have been to become cynical considering all the negative stuff that was happening around him! Yet, in Nehemiah 6:3, Nehemiah focused on the good work that had to be done. Focus on good stuff.

What good is going on that you can focus on? Or maybe, what good are you working toward?

Endure.

The fourth part of the antitode for cynicism is pure, unadulterated endurance. It is interesting that, in 1 Thessalonians 1:3, St. Pauls says endurance is “inspired by hope,” but in Romans 5:4, he says endurance leads, via proven character, to hope. So also, in Romans 15:4, he speaks of having “hope through endurance.” The reality is that hope and endurance go hand-in-hand. They enjoy a symbiotic relationship. Why?

When I was in high school, I competed in cross country. Cross country is a particularly challenging sport because, most of the time, you can not see the finish line. For instance, there was a course in Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin, where the finish line was behind us when we stood at the start line. As we ran the course, it looped this way and that, went up and down hills, and even wound through a fairly dense forest in the bluffs just east of the Mississippi River. Throughout the race, we never saw the finish line until we crested the final hill, less than 200 meters from the end.

Imagine what would have happened if we got bored at the one-mile mark, were discouraged at the two-mile mark, or surrendered to the exhaustion at the three-mile mark. The simple act of crossing the finish line, despite all the setbacks and challenges, bolsters hope in a way few other things can, and that hope makes the next challenge a little easier. So you’ll endure to the finish line again, and receive another shot of hope. So you’ll…

Now, please know that there are times when God closes doors, and no amount of knocking or kicking or whining will open them again. Nevertheless, I wonder how many pastors are cynical because they have never stuck around long enough to finish what they started. Rather, they got bored or discouraged, and they surrendered too soon.

Where do you need to buckle down and push through to the finish line?

Encourage one another.

The final component of the antidote for cynicism is, I believe, encouraging one another. Did you know that the word “encourage” appears 58 times in the Bible? A literally definition of the word would be to instill courage in someone else, and it is a common theme, especially for people in the church. Barnabas’ nickname meant “Son of Encouragement.” In Acts 15, the letter sent by the Jerusalem Council to Gentile believers was encouraging, not to mention Judas and Silas, was encouraging. In Romans 1:12, St. Paul longed to visit Rome “to be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.” St. Paul also bid the Thessolians, “Encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). The author to the Hebrews echoed, “Encourage each other daily, while it is still called today” (Hebrews 3:13).

I could go on and on and on and on. But the point, I think, is clear. We must encourage each other.

For this to work, though, two things must happen. First, pastors must deliberately develop relationships with both other pastors and parishioners. In order to do that, they will need to be selfless. No one cannot expect someone else to encourage them if they will not first encourage. They will need to show up. Simply put, it is not enough to have someone’s contact information. Use it. Call. Email. Drop by. Do something to build that relationship! Finally, they will need to be vulnerable. Just like it is difficult for the doctor to help her patient if the patient will not remove his clothing, so also, it is difficult for someone else to encourage us if we will not expose our needs and concerns.

Second, pastors must actually encourage each other. Sadly, we often fail miserably at this. Instead, we exchange niceties and engage in polite small talk for a couple hours. If and when we move past such pleasantries, we inevitably compare average attendances, budgets, and buildings. Such comparisons never yield hope because we can never really win. My church does not have your attendance. Your church does not have the budget of that church across town. And that church across town does not have the biggest, shiniest building anymore.

No, we must start changing the things we ask each other. A while back, I read a brilliant article entitled, “9 Questions Interesting People Ask to Cut Through the Small Talk.” In fact, I was so enamored with the article that I have kept it open in a browser tab for months. As the title would suggest, the author, Marcel Schwantes, suggests nine questions that will stimulate a much more encouraging conversation than the typical shop talk pastor’s exchange:

• What excites you right now?
• What are you looking forward to?
• What’s the best thing that’s happened to you this year?
• What’s the most important thing I should know about you?
• What’s your story?
• What is one of your defining moments?
• Why did you choose your profession?
• What are you currently reading?
• How can I be most helpful to you right now?

Another phenomenal resource which provides insight into encouraging other pastors, especially those engaged in church revitalization, is Episode 116 of Thom Rainer’s Revitalize and Replant podcast, entitled “HOW TO ENCOURAGE OTHER REVITALIZATION PASTORS WITHOUT BRAGGING – REVITALIZE AND REPLANT.” I promise you, it is worth the twenty minutes to listen.

Obviously, there are other things that we could add to this list. But really, if we do these five things, over time, cynicism will evaporate, and we will find ourselves much healthy, much more effective pastors and people as a result.